this blog should be renamed "because i don't have a facebook"

from now until september 13th, i will not have a facebook because of the chapman university panhellenic system, for sorority recruitment.

school is starting in ONE WEEK, and i am toootally not looking forward to it. i had a really good summer, one with a lot of firsts and accomplishments that really made me feel good about myself. i sprained my foot, joined a gym, went to FOUR concerts, made new friends at work in multiple departments, had TWO road trips, reunited with family members, AND read a non-trashy book!
looking back at one year ago, where my euphoric, excited freshman self went to orientation with bright eyes, feeling free and excited, and ended the week tired, a little upset, and discouraged. last year definitely wasn't what i wanted it to be, and i spent a lot of the time feeling sorry for myself, and singing taylor swift songs to my best friends via skype while sitting in my dorm room..not that that is a bad thing- i love my friends and taylor swift- but hearing about all my friends doing orientation this year brought back those feelings of just...BLEGH. BLEGH towards my new school, the students there, and my dorm room. i eventually tried to suppress those feelings, joined a sorority, and smiled more, but i still can't help but feeling negatively towards the upcoming fall school year, because of how i am reminded by all that BLEGH from a year ago...

i do feel negatively about the next school year, but then i look at my journal from the past year so far, and i find a post-it that i stuck in my journal- a post-it from one of my best friends at school and one of my sorority sisters, meike. it was the answer to a question i kept asking her over and over that night, and she wrote it down and stuck it on my desk partly so i wouldn't forget, and partly so i would stop asking her the dang question. not only did meike write me a post-it that night, she got me water, a rice cake, and tucked me into my extra long dorm bed before wishing me good night, and telling me to lock the door in my dorm room. every time i open my journal now, i see meike's yellow post-it, and think of all of the good times that we had towards the end of the school year last year once i worked harder on my happiness, and joined a sorority and put myself out there socially, because i was unsatisfied with how my college experience had been up to this point. and incorporating my non trashy novel into this, i read eat. pray. love. this summer, and this quote really spoke to me, so to say...

"happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."

so i guess working hard for happiness isn't out of the ordinary, and i shouldn't feel so strange putting so much effort into making friends, and having fun at school. some things should be effortless, but being used to having effortless friendships at oxford really didn't help me out when it came to being in college, so now that i've learned my lesson, i will approach this new school year fearless, happier, and most importantly, willing to WORK for happiness, friendships, and good times.

...and yes, work also includes playing dance songs to to lighten the mood :)




ignore the screen on that video..hahaha


peace and love